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第0章 女皇出手，九十二眼！（五更完毕）

　　Before the long hour and a half of prayers and Bible-reading wasover, I felt ready to perish with cold. Breakfast-time came at last,and this morning the porridge was not burnt; the quality waseatable, the quantity small. How small my portion seemed! I wishedit had been doubled.

　　From the day she left I was no longer the same: with her was goneevery settled feeling, every association that had made Lowood insome degree a home to me. I had imbibed from her something of hernature and much of her habits: more harmonious thoughts: what seemedbetter regulated feelings had become the inmates of my mind. I hadgiven in allegiance to duty and order; I was quiet; I believed I wascontent: to the eyes of others, usually even to my own, I appeared adisciplined and subdued character.

　　'You ought to be aware, Miss, that you are under obligations toMrs. Reed: she keeps you: if she were to turn you off, you wouldhave to go to the poorhouse.'

　　I assented.

　　'Nonsense! And is it that makes you so miserable? Are you afraidnow in daylight?'

　　'Sometimes.'

　　'He is a clergyman, and is said to do a great deal of good.'

　　The night passed rapidly: I was too tired even to dream; I onlyonce awoke to hear the wind rave in furious gusts, and the rain fallin torrents, and to be sensible that Miss Miller had taken her placeby my side. When I again unclosed my eyes, a loud bell was ringing;the girls were up and dressing; day had not yet begun to dawn, and arushlight or two burned in the room. I too rose reluctantly; it wasbitter cold, and I dressed as well as I could for shivering, andwashed when there was a basin at liberty, which did not occur soon, asthere was but one basin to six girls, on the stands down the middle ofthe room. Again the bell rang; all formed in file, two and two, and inthat order descended the stairs and entered the cold and dimly litschoolroom: here prayers were read by Miss Miller; afterwards shecalled out-

　　This additional ceremony seemed somewhat stately; however, Irepaired to my room, and, with Mrs. Fairfax's aid, replaced my blackstuff dress by one of black silk; the best and the only additional oneI had, except one of light grey, which, in my Lowood notions of thetoilette, I thought too fine to be worn, except on first-rateoccasions.