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第5章 仙界碎片

　　'What! what!' he cried. 'Did she say that to me? Did you hearher, Eliza and Georgiana? Won't I tell mama? but first-'

　　'That was very false economy,' remarked Mrs. Fairfax, who now againcaught the drift of the dialogue.

　　'And you can work on muslin and canvas?'

　　John had not much affection for his mother and sisters, and anantipathy to me. He bullied and punished me; not two or three times inthe week, nor once or twice in the day, but continually: every nerve Ihad feared him, and every morsel of flesh in my bones shrank when hecame near. There were moments when I was bewildered by the terror heinspired, because I had no appeal whatever against either hismenaces or his inflictions; the servants did not like to offendtheir young master by taking my part against him, and Mrs. Reed wasblind and deaf on the subject: she never saw him strike or heard himabuse me, though he did both now and then in her very presence, morefrequently, however, behind her back.

　　'I suppose,' thought I, 'judging from the plainness of theservant and carriage, Mrs. Fairfax is not a very dashing person: somuch the better; I never lived amongst fine people but once, and I wasvery miserable with them. I wonder if she lives alone except thislittle girl; if so, and if she is in any degree amiable, I shallsurely be able to get on with her; I will do my best; it is a pitythat doing one's best does not always answer. At Lowood, indeed, Itook that resolution, kept it, and succeeded in pleasing; but withMrs. Reed, I remember my best was always spurned with scorn. I prayGod Mrs. Fairfax may not turn out a second Mrs. Reed; but if she does,I am not bound to stay with her! let the worst come to the worst, Ican advertise again. How far are we on our road now, I wonder?'

　　'What did you say, my dear? I am a little deaf,' returned thegood lady, approaching her ear to my mouth.

　　'Because you're such a queer, frightened, shy little thing. Youshould be bolder.'

　　'Heathens and savage tribes hold that doctrine, but Christiansand civilised nations disown it.'

　　CHAPTER VII--------------------------------------------------------------------------------